Do you have a style that angers your kids?

Do you have a style that angers your kids?

Today, I want to talk about how parents can cause anger in the child and today.  Now, a child is more than capable of becoming angry all by himself/herself!  The Bible is clear that we should all take responsibility for our own sin. But, God’s word is also clear about a parent’s contribution to the emotional state of the child.

Ephesians 6:4 says “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Of course, the application is to mothers as well. But the father is highlighted, because he is to be the spiritual leader of the home.  And whether he realizes or not, his words and actions impact the level of anger in his children.

The word “exasperate” in the original Greek language has the idea of provoking and stimulating anger. We have an expression today of pushing a button.  It’s the idea of saying something that is like pushing an angry button.  And so, the parent can have a style that actually stimulates anger in their child.

This should cause us to look generally at the many ways we approach our child. This includes the way we speak to our children (tone of voice), the content of our speaking, the methods of discipline we employ, even the inconsistency of our methods can cause anger, and so on. In fact, it could be any one or a combination of things that provoke anger.

This is a serious problem. 

To be honest, I think most parents know the style that is causing the anger.  They see the anger in their kids.  But too often the parent just think that it is entirely the kids fault.  But today’s answer is about the way we provoke them to anger.

In fact, this provocation is described as an ongoing situation as the original word for exasperation is written in the present tense. This expresses ongoing action, ongoing stimulation, ongoing provocation and ongoing exasperation to the point where the child lives with continual anger.

If you are meeting in a group, you can pause now to discuss the impact of exasperating words and actions on your life.  It might be difficult but share about your home life growing up.  How were you impacted by your parents’ words and actions towards you?  Did it make you angry?  How did you deal with it?  Share it the negative impact might be impacting you today.  Is it impacting your own style of dealing with your kids?

Consider today, how your ongoing style of parenting might be stimulating anger.  And make the necessary adjustments to reduce the anger but still get your point across to them.

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For deeper insight, click > “Hot Tea with Honey” – Devotion for Mothers

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